$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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