Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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