i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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