She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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