first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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