in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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