A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just gift wrapped bread.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
