NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
