Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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