you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
