ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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