is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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