Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
