I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She bit a glass in half.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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