I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
