Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize