We're like a lot better than the average bears
are you so shy because you have an std?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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