I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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