My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
