you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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