Just fell off a train. Bad.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
