shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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