You're a womanizer and a bitch.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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