please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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