This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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