he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize