It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
