speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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