If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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