it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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