Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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