i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
