we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
