so explain again why im purple
no
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
