Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
