just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
