He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
