Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
