you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
