Just fell off a train. Bad.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
