Will you blow on my dice?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
