Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
