gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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