Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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