Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
