He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
