you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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