You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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