Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
