didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
