but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
