New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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