i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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