As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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