So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Drunk is not a location!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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