The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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