i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize