Your mouth is God's brothel.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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