Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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