I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
