He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
