i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
