I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
