this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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