Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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