This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
